I think that there is something wonky with my throat chakra.
I'll back up.
One of my biggest therapy influences, Jeanie Falkner, often talked about how people will hold their emotional junk in various parts of the body; even when they couldn't talk about it, their body could talk about. I didn't fully get it then, don't fully get it now. Except for that...I get it. I get it in the sense that I believe that it's real but I have minimal insight into the hows and the whys and the whens, etc.
So read on with with the knowledge that I'm still trying to figure all of this out. In my brain.
So back to my throat chakra.
My wheels started turning about this last Saturday during the back bending and hip opening workshop that was hosted by Studio A. There was lots of bending and stretching (and if you were me, bucking around). Things were going well until we got into camel pose.
Things were rocking along until I tuned into the fact that I wasn't breathing. Wait. Not wasn't breathing but couldn't breath. Toni (the teacher) encouraged us throughout the class to pay attention to the tension and try to breath into it to soften it up. That wasn't really working for this gal.
For the rest of the class, while I wasn't focusing on my breath, I was wondering what in the hell was wrong with my throat. I continued to wonder about this on and off for the rest of the day and finally settled on this: maybe it's one of those chakras. I hear there's one in the throat.
So these chakras. I know nothing about them. Like really. Nothing. I read an article before I wrote this. But if what Jeannie Falkner used to teach is true then it makes sense that parts of the body getting blocked and / or acting cray could really cause a pickle. Let's explore.
It's not just the not breathing in camel pose situation that has me thinking that things might be jacked. It's the having no idea what to say to people when I get anxious, the hand to my throat at times when I am speaking (I'm sure this one's odd looking) and the seemingly constant one sided sore throat/sore ear. And there are some constant swollen lymph nodes in my neck that several doctors have promised me are nothing. Except maybe a blocked chakra. (I added that last part, my family physician didn't. Just in case you were wondering).
Yes, there's a possibility that all of this is rooted in nothing. I might just be an awkward girl with a mild case of hypochondria and odd hand motions that needs more work on body placement during yoga.
Stay tuned. Hide and watch. Answers forthcoming. Perhaps.
The good, though, is that this is an opportunity to explore something new. And learn something new. And get a little deeper in my therapy practice AND my yoga practice.
I've been interested in the intersection of yoga and psychotherapy and have often thought of how cool it would be to bring the two together in a therapeutic environment. There's great work out there on using yoga when working with people who have experienced trauma and most people will tell you that a regular practice leads to dialed down anxiety. Since I don't think NSMC is ready for me to roll out my mat just yet, I'll just keep at it with the working on my chakras and my camel posing and my breathing and letting the light shine through where it may.
And maybe, just maybe, I'll attend this workshop in January. Perhaps I'll have a bake sale to fund it.....I've got a a mean chocolate chip cookie recipe.
Namaste and happy chakra unblocking.
Heaven Help Me
8 hours ago